The Five Stages Of Sucking

It’s easy to say we suck and write ourselves off, to accept that this is the way we are and the way we will always be. I was like this for a good, long period of time. Eventually, I came to a conclusion that has slowly, painfully been helping me work my way out. We treat sucking as if it is some blanket statement about ourselves, an excuse to fold our hand. But the thing is, no one sucks in general. We suck specifically. We suck at things, not as people. I’ve been going through the motions of sucking less over the past few years. I’ve been trying to make myself a better mess. The more steps I take, the more I begin to suck less, the more I’ve begun to see the following pattern…

Accept You Suck

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Just look in the mirror, sit down with a piece of paper or talk to a friend and figure out where we suck. Life would be so much easier if this was easy. Figure out what we suck at, fix it, excel. Sadly, we are skilled at fooling ourselves, blaming other things and ignoring blatant problems. You’re going to have to take a long, hard, ugly look at yourself and begin to figure out where you suck. You need to know what you’re dealing with if you hope to improve. Once you do, it stops being something intangible and may just be manageable.

Start Sucking

The best way to suck less at something is to simply start sucking. Get your ass in the game, screw up a whole bunch of times, but take the time to learn and improve with every misstep. We’re so damn afraid of sucking, we’re terrified of making mistakes. We want to be safe and secure, but safety and security aren’t the things that make you grow. More often than not, they are just excuses for acquiescing to the things that keep us from taking the chances. And like it or not, taking chances is required if you have any hope of getting past your challenges.

Suck for a While

Grab a seat, we need to talk. I have some bad news. There is no quick fix. There is no easy answer. There is no simple solution. If you want to stop sucking (rather than just seeming like you don’t suck, which is surprisingly easy in the short term), you’re going to have to work for it. You’re going to have to be honest, you’re going to have to learn some new tricks and break some bad habits. You’re going to have to struggle. It’s going to take a while. You’re going to want to skip steps and rush ahead. Don’t. You’ll just have to start all over again; accept that this is going to be a brutal process and accept your sucky sentence of sucking.

Realize You Suck Less

The hardest part of sucking less isn’t usually what you’d expect. You’d think the honesty and the work are the biggest walls to climb. They aren’t. The biggest challenge that many face is actually accepting that they already climbed it. That they no longer suck as badly as they once did or perhaps they no longer suck at all. You have to be mindful as you progress. You have to know where you started. Don’t just try and remember, write down just how badly you suck at the beginning so you can periodically check back and see just how far you’ve come. Also try to figure out where you hope to end up. Determine what it means not to suck, so you’ll know when you get there.

Get Ready to Suck Again

Once you cease to suck at something, there’s probably something else you suck at that you can start working on. You can keep it going as long as you want or, more likely, as long as you are willing. But with every new endeavor comes the inevitable sucking and the often unbearable process of sucking less.

The best news of all is the thing thing that I’ve saved for last. Once you get there, once you are ready to start sucking again, you’ve learned something that no one can take away from you. That sucking isn’t a death sentence, it’s simply a starting point.

So what do you suck at? Admit it below and let the work begin.

3 Responses to The Five Stages Of Sucking

  1. This sucks.

    Just kidding. It’s very funny :)

    I suck at making decisions. I like to delay making a decision until absolutely everybody hates me and thinks that I’m a flake. But I’m not a flake. I just can see the benefit of all the options.

    • I had a feeling it did :)

      It’s a funny line that one, trying to make sure you have time to see the options with making a decision in time not not impact others. I struggle with it myself…

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